I have come to the realization that in recent weeks, I allowed myself to get distracted from gardening greatness. I met somebody and was putting more of my focus into nurturing that relationship than my tomatoes. Well, potential tomatoes- there are still no signs of life. (Just to be clear- I’ve continued tending to their lifeless plots of dirt daily, they have just occupied less of my mind.)
The potential relationship was terminated before it had a chance to really grow, much like last year’s accidental tomato abortions. This person was still not healed from a past relationship and unable to move forward. I know this because he told me like a respectful adult- a feat notable among much of the male demographic. Was I bummed? Yes, he was kind and emotionally intelligent. And hot. However, I’ve realized that we never would have worked. If I’ve learned anything from the last few years, it is that I am not deterred by past failures. No matter how dark and catastrophic the loss- I am willing to grieve, cry a lot, learn, and look forward.
I understand feeling scared to try again. Like, “Oh no, what if everything dies like last time?” But I’m also not a little bitch. Can you imagine where I’d be if I got hung up on failure and gave up before trying? Well, I guess I’d have the same amount of tomatoes as I do right now. Sigh.